Consequences
there's like, so much for me to blog about. ok expect this post to be a long one. i'll start with what i did today okay.
12+pm reached school for comm skills. there was this test which i know nothing about. then the teacher talked and talked. after that was marketing. a change in lecturer. i still prefer the old one though. before marketing, accompanied zahil, anisa, nadia, jasmine and junye to smoke. accompany only. not smoke, accompany only. then saw this 2 minahs smoking. they know nadia. one look at them and i went 'urgh'. it's really, really sad that they're invading our population. the way they dress, the way they present themselves. i mean come on. with eyebrows as thin as don't know what. dressing so, so tight. if you wanna flaunt it so much, might as well don't wear anything right. i just hate, hate, hate the sight of them. everytime i look at them, i'd think all girls are like that. and i'd be so, so afraid to find love. damn.
marketing was a waste of time. ok not really. the lecturer was kinda good. after that was WPDP and WDD lecture. again, waste of time. and this 2 hours, i don't really look forward to it. cause i'd sit alone. lucky for me today, there's fathiah. talk and talk and talk to her. she gave me advice and stuffs. i just LOVE girls 2 years older than me. can treat like my own kakak like that eh? right anisa? haha. anisa and fathiah, awww. haha. she left and i went over to sit beside razinah.
this tudung girl, this ustazah, kept punching and pinching me for no reason. we talked, about, let me see, yeah girls. she adviced me too i guess? haha. thanks for layan-ing me tau. though you looked like you were forced to talk to me. haha. then there was zahil. i don't know la. he's like the only malay guy im close to in NYP. not to mention sab of course. but he has his own world and friends and whatever. zahil was there too just now. but yeah, too bad he left SoundCard. bloody hell, last time say stop smoking ready, now start again. want smoke red some more. damn you. but really, thanks for being there.
school ended and i went for SoundCard. practiced the ndp performance. starting sucked. as in, i kept thinking and thinking and was so, so, so, so, so, so, so emo that no one except cassandra approached and asked if i was okay. after praying maghrib, i suddenly felt okay and i danced like no one's business. well, not that i perfected the dance but yes i knew i had fun. dinner at macs in school. then off home.
in the bus on the way home, i kept pondering. like really, do i spend my whole life waiting? i mean, i don't know. it's just so frustrating. even someone asked me. why do you want a girlfriend? that left me speechless. because i've never had one? that's a lame excuse. because i want one? because i want that girl so bad? i don't know. maybe i just want that special someone? do we have to be in a relationship? what's the difference? i don't know. maybe i'm just really fated not to have anyone in my life at all. haha.
' sure or not you no ex? no girlfriend? you so hot and handsome, where got no ex one! ' - that's what i call bullshit. hot and handsome MUST be attached? right. and for all of you the information, whoever that calls me hot, i accept that, like really. but i have to disagree. i myself think i'm not hot. i'm just saying.
no i'm not giving up. i'll still wait. i wanna see how long i can wait. what would i do if this one doesn't work out? i don't know. be a flirt? oh ya that brings me to something else. i wanna be known as the quiet, shy, nice guy who is friendly to everyone. not as a flirt. i'm not a flirt. okay maybe to some i may be, but i know i'm not. i'm just trying to be nice to everyone. doesn't mean i'm a flirt. i don't know if i really have been labelled as one, but whatever.
i've been thinking too much. so much so that i don't eat in school. instead, i go home late at night, eat at 12 1+ am, sleep. every single day. eat sleep eat sleep. no wonder the tummy is getting bigger. no work outs no nothing. i want the old Zi back. i want the Zi who doesn't eat at night everyday, jogs everyday, skips one hour everyday before working out everyday. the Zi who plays sports. the Zi who sings non-stop. the Zi that everyone loves. just where is he?
sigh, i can blog the whole day. can i be a flirt? like seriously. sigh. ok no i won't. maybe? i wanna know every single girl and see which one i can get. okay you know i won't do that. but really, sometimes i just feel like doing that. but then again, i believe in karma. do i? maybe. i don't know. but if i stay faithful to one right, i don't know how long i can stand. do i deserve better? i wonder.
after all that long piece of crap, i still decide i will wait. but like you said, if nothing happens, i'd be hurt of course. but what can i do right. slow, go with the flow.
but whatever it is, you know i'll be there, anytime. it's up to you to actually realise that one day. (:
alright imma stop here. just don't kill me for this people. i just felt like letting them all out. at least i feel SLIGHTLY better now. till then.
12+pm reached school for comm skills. there was this test which i know nothing about. then the teacher talked and talked. after that was marketing. a change in lecturer. i still prefer the old one though. before marketing, accompanied zahil, anisa, nadia, jasmine and junye to smoke. accompany only. not smoke, accompany only. then saw this 2 minahs smoking. they know nadia. one look at them and i went 'urgh'. it's really, really sad that they're invading our population. the way they dress, the way they present themselves. i mean come on. with eyebrows as thin as don't know what. dressing so, so tight. if you wanna flaunt it so much, might as well don't wear anything right. i just hate, hate, hate the sight of them. everytime i look at them, i'd think all girls are like that. and i'd be so, so afraid to find love. damn.
marketing was a waste of time. ok not really. the lecturer was kinda good. after that was WPDP and WDD lecture. again, waste of time. and this 2 hours, i don't really look forward to it. cause i'd sit alone. lucky for me today, there's fathiah. talk and talk and talk to her. she gave me advice and stuffs. i just LOVE girls 2 years older than me. can treat like my own kakak like that eh? right anisa? haha. anisa and fathiah, awww. haha. she left and i went over to sit beside razinah.
this tudung girl, this ustazah, kept punching and pinching me for no reason. we talked, about, let me see, yeah girls. she adviced me too i guess? haha. thanks for layan-ing me tau. though you looked like you were forced to talk to me. haha. then there was zahil. i don't know la. he's like the only malay guy im close to in NYP. not to mention sab of course. but he has his own world and friends and whatever. zahil was there too just now. but yeah, too bad he left SoundCard. bloody hell, last time say stop smoking ready, now start again. want smoke red some more. damn you. but really, thanks for being there.
school ended and i went for SoundCard. practiced the ndp performance. starting sucked. as in, i kept thinking and thinking and was so, so, so, so, so, so, so emo that no one except cassandra approached and asked if i was okay. after praying maghrib, i suddenly felt okay and i danced like no one's business. well, not that i perfected the dance but yes i knew i had fun. dinner at macs in school. then off home.
in the bus on the way home, i kept pondering. like really, do i spend my whole life waiting? i mean, i don't know. it's just so frustrating. even someone asked me. why do you want a girlfriend? that left me speechless. because i've never had one? that's a lame excuse. because i want one? because i want that girl so bad? i don't know. maybe i just want that special someone? do we have to be in a relationship? what's the difference? i don't know. maybe i'm just really fated not to have anyone in my life at all. haha.
' sure or not you no ex? no girlfriend? you so hot and handsome, where got no ex one! ' - that's what i call bullshit. hot and handsome MUST be attached? right. and for all of you the information, whoever that calls me hot, i accept that, like really. but i have to disagree. i myself think i'm not hot. i'm just saying.
no i'm not giving up. i'll still wait. i wanna see how long i can wait. what would i do if this one doesn't work out? i don't know. be a flirt? oh ya that brings me to something else. i wanna be known as the quiet, shy, nice guy who is friendly to everyone. not as a flirt. i'm not a flirt. okay maybe to some i may be, but i know i'm not. i'm just trying to be nice to everyone. doesn't mean i'm a flirt. i don't know if i really have been labelled as one, but whatever.
i've been thinking too much. so much so that i don't eat in school. instead, i go home late at night, eat at 12 1+ am, sleep. every single day. eat sleep eat sleep. no wonder the tummy is getting bigger. no work outs no nothing. i want the old Zi back. i want the Zi who doesn't eat at night everyday, jogs everyday, skips one hour everyday before working out everyday. the Zi who plays sports. the Zi who sings non-stop. the Zi that everyone loves. just where is he?
sigh, i can blog the whole day. can i be a flirt? like seriously. sigh. ok no i won't. maybe? i wanna know every single girl and see which one i can get. okay you know i won't do that. but really, sometimes i just feel like doing that. but then again, i believe in karma. do i? maybe. i don't know. but if i stay faithful to one right, i don't know how long i can stand. do i deserve better? i wonder.
after all that long piece of crap, i still decide i will wait. but like you said, if nothing happens, i'd be hurt of course. but what can i do right. slow, go with the flow.
but whatever it is, you know i'll be there, anytime. it's up to you to actually realise that one day. (:
alright imma stop here. just don't kill me for this people. i just felt like letting them all out. at least i feel SLIGHTLY better now. till then.
posted by Azizi at
9:58 AM
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